Blah » How-To http://mrasher.com This tagline can kiss my ass. Thu, 21 Apr 2011 11:53:20 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 How To Get Some Ass http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/11/15/how-to-get-some-ass/ http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/11/15/how-to-get-some-ass/#comments Thu, 15 Nov 2007 15:34:24 +0000 admin http://mrasher.com/2007/11/15/how-to-get-some-ass/
  • On Sunday spend all day getting the car fixed
  • On Monday spend your evening playing poker in a bar
  • On Tuesday go out for a business dinner, including drinks afterwards
  • Call your girlfriend en route to another business dinner, including drinks afterwards
  • Have her get mad at you for never seeing her
  • Have dinner and drinks
  • Surprise girlfriend by bringing home a giant-ass piece of chocolate cake
  • Have girlfriend think you are the sweetest person to have ever lived
  • Have girlfriend tell all her coworkers that you are the sweetest person to have ever lived
  • Get some ass1
    1. Not actually guaranteed to work.
    ]]>     http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/11/15/how-to-get-some-ass/feed/ 1     How To Get A Free Tire From Wal-Mart: A Detailed Experience http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/10/28/how-to-get-a-free-tire-from-wal-mart-a-detailed-experience/ http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/10/28/how-to-get-a-free-tire-from-wal-mart-a-detailed-experience/#comments Mon, 29 Oct 2007 04:25:17 +0000 admin http://mrasher.com/2007/10/28/how-to-get-a-free-tire-from-wal-mart-a-detailed-experience/ So, I’ve mentioned that I got a free tire from Wal-Mart. However, I’d feel bad if I didn’t mention the fact that it took seven trips to Wal-Mart to sort everything out:

    1. Around Saturday 3:30pm. Initial drop-off, Becky and I take two cars there and drop mine off.
    2. Come back around 8pm, the guy we talked to said it would be done by 7pm. It’s still in the repair bay. The new guy said all the earlier tire guys left and didn’t tell anyone. He says to check back in an hour, he might have it done.
    3. 9pm. We went and did a little shopping there for a few things and came back after an hour. Still not done.
    4. Come back around 10:30am one Sunday morning. Get vehicle and head home – thinking everything is honky-dory.
    5. Friday afternoon around 3pm. After realization that shit is still wrong, Becky goes in to drop off the spare tire to get fixed. Turns out they also put two different sets of tires on the car – two different widths of tires – those have to be fixed. Leaves car to come back later.
    6. We come back around 9pm-ish. The four tires on the car are now all the same. However, they couldn’t figure out how to get the spare tire off the car – are you fucking serious?! – and so didn’t do anything. They, of course, lied and said they tried to call me. My caller ID says different, douches. So, I go and take the tire off the car and drop if off in the office. Oh, and they had the audacity to charge me .25 cents to throw the tire away. Never going here again. Ever.
    7. Come back Sunday afternoon around 3pm to pickup my tire. Everything is just fine and I’m out in less than 10 minutes – there were a few people in front of me.

    And that is how I saved about 100 bucks and got a free tire.

    Not really worth it with all the trips I made.

    ]]>     http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/10/28/how-to-get-a-free-tire-from-wal-mart-a-detailed-experience/feed/ 0     How To Get A T-Shirt From Busted Tees http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/10/25/how-to-get-a-t-shirt-from-busted-tees/ http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/10/25/how-to-get-a-t-shirt-from-busted-tees/#comments Fri, 26 Oct 2007 04:39:57 +0000 admin http://mrasher.com/2007/10/25/how-to-get-a-t-shirt-from-busted-tees/
  • Find a sweet coupon code from Retail Me Not for Busted Tees
  • Pick out three shirts
  • Pay
  • Wait for shirts to arrive
  • Notice that 2/3 shirts are great, but the third has two holes in it
  • Get pissed off, email customer service at Busted Tees
  • Have email ignored for a few days
  • Write again, copying exact text of first email
  • Actually get a response. A response that says they’re really sorry and they’ll send you another one
  • Think to oneself, “Fuck yeah! New Shirt. Only, I now have two of the same shirt, but one has two holes in it. Shit, what do I do with that one?”1
  • Wait a few days thinking “I wonder if I need to further this email conversation with Busted Tees, over the details and what not. Y’know, like Do I send back the old shirt? If so, I sure as fuck am not going to pay for it, who is?
  • Come home one day to find a shirt already sent out to you.
  • Think, “Fuck yeah!”2
    1. Do not in the future tell your girlfriend the idea that poppped into your brain directly after having this thought. She will make fun of you for it. For whatever reason, my brain initially thought that I could make a little pillow out of the shirt. Weird thought. I guess I do recall my junior high home-ec class. Her name was Mary-Jo Harbour, and yes, I do remember it. Stop laughing.
    2. And yeah, I’d probably buy from then again after them being such swell folk.
    ]]>     http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/10/25/how-to-get-a-t-shirt-from-busted-tees/feed/ 0     How To Get A Free Tire From Wal-Mart http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/10/23/how-to-get-a-free-tire-from-walmart/ http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/10/23/how-to-get-a-free-tire-from-walmart/#comments Wed, 24 Oct 2007 02:57:49 +0000 admin http://mrasher.com/2007/10/23/how-to-get-a-free-tire-from-walmart/
  • Purchase four tires from Wal-mart
  • Already have your good-spare tire on your car
  • Tell the guy working there that you want to keep the good spare already on the car and that they should pull the tire in the spare area off and replace that one1
  • Have them fuck that all up
  • Wait at least a day or so to figure out that they fucked it up
  • Call Wal-mart and talk to the Assistant Manager of the Automotive Division about how they fucked it up
  • They will tell you that your tire has already been hauled away and that they’ll just give you a free tire like the four they just installed

    • Booyah, free tire.

    1. I bet if you didn’t tell the guy this and called later they’d still give it to you. No real specifics were asked of me.
    ]]>     http://mrasher.com/archives/2007/10/23/how-to-get-a-free-tire-from-walmart/feed/ 1