How To Get A T-Shirt From Busted Tees

  1. Find a sweet coupon code from Retail Me Not for Busted Tees
  2. Pick out three shirts
  3. Pay
  4. Wait for shirts to arrive
  5. Notice that 2/3 shirts are great, but the third has two holes in it
  6. Get pissed off, email customer service at Busted Tees
  7. Have email ignored for a few days
  8. Write again, copying exact text of first email
  9. Actually get a response. A response that says they’re really sorry and they’ll send you another one
  10. Think to oneself, “Fuck yeah! New Shirt. Only, I now have two of the same shirt, but one has two holes in it. Shit, what do I do with that one?”1
  11. Wait a few days thinking “I wonder if I need to further this email conversation with Busted Tees, over the details and what not. Y’know, like Do I send back the old shirt? If so, I sure as fuck am not going to pay for it, who is?
  12. Come home one day to find a shirt already sent out to you.
  13. Think, “Fuck yeah!”2

  1. Do not in the future tell your girlfriend the idea that poppped into your brain directly after having this thought. She will make fun of you for it. For whatever reason, my brain initially thought that I could make a little pillow out of the shirt. Weird thought. I guess I do recall my junior high home-ec class. Her name was Mary-Jo Harbour, and yes, I do remember it. Stop laughing.
  2. And yeah, I’d probably buy from then again after them being such swell folk.

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