How To Get Some Ass

  1. On Sunday spend all day getting the car fixed
  2. On Monday spend your evening playing poker in a bar
  3. On Tuesday go out for a business dinner, including drinks afterwards
  4. Call your girlfriend en route to another business dinner, including drinks afterwards
  5. Have her get mad at you for never seeing her
  6. Have dinner and drinks
  7. Surprise girlfriend by bringing home a giant-ass piece of chocolate cake
  8. Have girlfriend think you are the sweetest person to have ever lived
  9. Have girlfriend tell all her coworkers that you are the sweetest person to have ever lived
  10. Get some ass1

  1. Not actually guaranteed to work.